91PORNY

If you've ever reached a spot in your life where you're just waiting for the next thing to happen, then you've been in a liminal space. It's the place where the last thing has happened, and you may not quite know what the next thing is yet. It can feel a little (or a lot) uncomfortable.Ìý

Liminal spaces happen multiple times throughout people's lifetimes — even yours. If you're struggling to remember a time when you were in one, may I suggest most of the year of 2020, when we all hunkered down with a sense of dread to wait out a virus? But what's interesting about 2020 as a case study for liminal spaces is this: while we thought we were just waiting for something to happen, SO MUCH HAPPENED — in individual lives, families and groups, communities, societies, and in the world at large. While we were in the liminal space that was Covid, we found ourselves away from the busy-ness of all the things we'd packed our lives with, and in that in-between space, we could finally find the impetus for changes large and small.Ìý

So while liminal spaces can and do feel uncomfortable, it's often where the true energy of change arises because we finally have a moment to breathe, think, and reassess where we've been, where we are, where we're going, and what we want. In spite of the discomfort, liminal spaces are where we create the energy of change, and it's where we can have our biggest breakthroughs. These 10 tips can help you make the most of your time in liminal spaces and use your discomfort as a driving force to move into a new phase of your life.

1. Avoid Filling the Space With Meaningless Activity

Often, when we're in a liminal space, our discomfort creates the urge to do something... anything. And so, we fill up those spaces with stuff, most of which doesn't have much meaning, just to be busy and avoid our own discomfort. I completely understand this urge — I've done it many times myself. But the most meaningful way to move through discomfort isn't to make yourself as busy as possible; it's to take the time to re-evaluate, listen to your intuition, and give yourself space to feel what it is that you truly want.

2. Get Plenty of Rest

For some reason, we've convinced ourselves that the only way to move forward is by grinding it out. But often, when we arrive in a liminal space, we've been grinding for a long time, and we're tired — we just may not realize it. So what I'm about to say is incredibly important, even if it seems untrue: Resting is not lazy, nor does it show weak character. It's okay to take a break. It's okay to rest. You need the rest so you can be ready to take on the next thing. There is no shame in doing nothing. Sometimes, it's in doing nothing that we find the thing that we truly want to do.Ìý 

3. Simplify, Simplify, Simplify

When you arrive in a liminal space, it's a great time to reassess all the stuff you're doing so you can decide whether it actually works for you anymore. Remember all the people who were deep cleaning in 2020? Sure, boredom and being stuck at home may have been part of it, but the purging was also a way to simplify so that the space felt more energetically comfortable as everyone wrestled with uncertainty.

Simplifying doesn't have to be purely physical — it can be psychological, too. Look at where your thoughts, obligations, and processes feel cluttered or outdated and pare them back to their simplest form. It's another way to reduce the noise and activity that has distracted you for so long, and it can help you shift the energy of the liminal space so you can recognize what truly matters to you.Ìý

4. Develop a Practice

One of the ways I manage most of the uncomfortable times in my life (and the comfortable ones, too) is by engaging in a practice.ÌýA practice is something you do just for yourself because it uplifts you in some way, and it can be anything from meditation or prayer to grounding to mindfulness to movement to journaling. I actually have several practices that I engage in that help me feel more centered and allow me to gain more clarity in my thoughts.Ìý

Related: Mindful Journaling for Self-Reflection: How to & Why You Should Try It

5. Do Things You Enjoy 

Play isn't just for kids, and it can be very purposeful. It allows you to be more present in the current moment and helps you step away from all those pesky thoughts that are part of your discomfort. Various forms of play, like laughing, creating something, spending time in nature, learning something new, or reading a really good book, are self-nurturing and can help you recharge for whatever it is that comes next.

6. Spend Time With People You Love

These are your emotional support humans, and they can help you see things through a different lens. Plus, spending time with your support network is another form of self-care.Ìý

7. Resist the Urge to Figure It Out

I get wanting to get out of the liminal space and back to something that feels more productive ASAP, but pushing yourself too quickly through a transition can lead you to make choices that don't serve your best interests. Instead of getting into the looping thoughts of trying to figure out what's next, allow yourself some time to be. It's usually in the spaces of being (versus doing) where self-discovery happens.Ìý

8. Give Yourself Time to Grive

There's always at least a small sense of loss when a door closes but before another one opens. Powering through any sense of loss without allowing yourself to acknowledge it and sit with it for a time makes it harder to heal, and healing is essential to move forward in a healthy way. You don't need to wallow, but if you feel sad, acknowledge that and allow yourself to feel the loss so that it can move through you instead of getting stuck in you.

9. Recognize That Everything Is Temporary

The idea of impermanence has been around since ancient times and is a core tenet of Buddhism for a reason. Because, as the song goes, nothing lasts forever. The more we allow ourselves to acknowledge the impermance of everything, the less likely we are to develop unhealthy attachments. Understanding that this, too, shall pass can help ease the discomfort of a liminal space.

10. Allow Change to Blossom

Change can happen in an instant, but usually, it's a process. And while it's understandable to fear change because it's something unfamiliar, the only constant is change. It happens around and to you all the time. Your liminal space exists to sew the seeds of change, and by being gentle with yourself and approaching something new with curiosity instead of fear, you may find that on the other side of your liminal space lies something even greater than you could have imagined.

Make the Most of the In-Between

As someone who has existed within and traveled through so many liminal spaces in my lifetime, I absolutely understand the unease that can arise as one door closes and there appears to be nothing new in front of you. But it's in these times that our greatest growth and benefit can arise if we allow ourselves the grace to appreciate not knowing what's to come.Ìý